The Adventures of Mike Mason

Well, well - it's been almost NINE months ("nine times" - FBDO) since I have last blogged...yes, I'm probably the biggest slacker on the planet.  I'm here to stay though, I shall be blogging alot...so check back often.   Totally 80's going on right now, just played Tiffany...heart her.  :)

Ok talk to you cats later.

xoxo
Mike Mason

It's seriously so windy outside, it affected my Baggo game in a negative way.  Today Team Mason played the Baggo Brothers in the "Baggo Game Of The Week".  Unfortunately for us, we lost.  However my teammate, Chris Williams (our Production Director), played really well, he should be proud of that.  I was on the same side as Joe, he keep yelling out "Let it rain!" everytime one of their bags was in the air...yeah I'm not so sure what that means.  So after two weeks, Team Mason is sitting at .500.  We decided to regroup, practice hard, maybe even have a team outing, like a team building exercise.  Not sure where yet, maybe Menards. 
 
I think everyone is impressed with our uniforms though, Team Mason spared no expense with our hats & shirts.  I'll try and take a pic and throw it up here, I'm pretty sure you've never seen uniforms this classy before.

Up until this sentence I was taking responsibility for our loss, but I'm gonna blame this on Tom Skilling.  I just can't sit through a 38 minute weather report, ya know?  Enough with the isobars and the dew point, I don't care.  Can you just bottom line me here?  Do I need a jacket or what?  Will there be gusty winds which will force my bag 12 feet to the left midflight??  This information might've been useful to me before I flipped back to a rerun of 'Gilmore Girls'.

Ok, I'm out..

xoxo
Mike Mason

yep, the 3 B's...which means it's time for me to blog again.

How about the 4th B, Barker.  Yep, its almost 10:30am on Tuesday, you know what's on, The Price Is Right.  Seriously, what are we going to do without Bob Barker??  I know he's like a billion years old and all, but he should just stay.  I don't want to see some other scrub hand contestants their Plinko Chips.  And who else could juggle two showcases like Bob?  Maybe someone could do one, but two??

Other favorite games:

Any Number - Classic.  You've got the big prize, a crappy one and the dreaded piggy bank.  It's so much more fun to watch someone win 47 cents than a car (but not if it's me up there).  

Card Game - The one with the oversize, novelty playing cards.  I always wanted to see someone pick the card that said "Rules For Draw And Stud Poker".

Clock Game - It's tough to run a 30 second clock while watching some clown run back & forth trying to place the right price on stuff.  Bob should purposely trip someone.  

Check Game - Huge oversized check, big pen with a feather.  Does Bob endorse it after the show?  I'd take that thing to my bank's drive thru teller and just stuff it in the tube.  

Dice Game - Giant red dice, what else needs to be said.  Imagine having five of those for Yahtzee, you'd need a 40 gallon trash can to shake 'em up. 

Hole In One - I'd always point & laugh at my t.v. when some idiot would miss the putt really bad.  Hasn't everyone played miniature golf before??  There's no windmill in front of you, just putt it & win something already.

Lucky $even - Bob gives you seven dollar bills, you owe him a buck for each digit you are off and you need at least one dollar left over to buy the car.  He probably pockets the dollars lost and uses them for the vending machine during commercial break.  That'd be funny if you saw a Twix wrapper peering out of his suit jacket..  

Punch A Bunch - A giant punchboard revealing dollar amounts behind it.  Seriously, what's with the people who take 2 or 3 punches to break paper, go to the gym.

Safe Crackers - Reminds me of Al Capone's vault, except there is more than just dirt and broken glass (but those do sound like fantastic prizes).

Secret X - I don't know, this one always kinda creeped me out.  I think it's the design of the X's, very mysterious looking, like they were shipped from China or something and at any time a ninja would come out and grab you.  Or you'd hear a gong, then Bob would start talking but his words would be delayed.


There are alot more games, but I'm just too lazy to type anything else. 

Talk to you later!  =)

Mike Mason

...when the blog po-po come for you."

The answer to that would be blog, so here is a quick one to avoid a beat down. I shall blog more later (and all week), cause I'm filling in for Haynes Johns in the afternoon. =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Good morning!

So I'll start off by letting you know that I haven't been to bed yet. Hmmm, do you think that could be a problem? I don't know. Couldn't sleep...so I got up, cleaned my place, watched about 10 episodes of King of Queens, organized this box of pictures I have...and in between all that I drank a pot of coffee.

I think its time to get my eyebrows waxed again. I did it for the first time about a month ago. I talked about this on the air last night, not because it hurt like a son of a b, but I felt some fuzz going on between the 'brows & I think its about that time to take care of biz again. When I first got this done, I came in to get my haircut and the first thing my stylist Becky says to me is, "Ok, I want to try something today, are you ready for it?". So she lays the whole waxing thing on me, I was totally open to it. I asked her if that was her way of hinting to me that I was starting to look like Bert from Sesame Street. She said no, there was no unibrow action going on (whew). ANYWAY, she finished with my hair and brings me back in this room, all I see is this white chair thing, she instructs me to lay down. I saw a small hole in this table, near the top of it, so being the complete jackass that I am, I laid on the table chest facing down. She has this weird look on her face and starts cracking up. It was one of the moments where you do something & you know you just screwed up & made a total fool out of yourself, it was amusing. So she puts that hot wax on, rips the paper off & I scream out "Kelly Clarkson!".

Long story short (too late for that), it hurt, I shed blood, but walked with away with some nice brows.

Yeah ok, that's about all I got right now...

Talk to you at 7pm! =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Happy Friday!!!

Well, this makes twice in the same week I've blogged, I'm really proud of myself, I hope you can share in this joy with me (I know Rebecca will).

Did you check out the pics on our website from our Intern Scavenger hunt? If not, click on this link:

http://www.1023xlc.com/rwn.asp?displayOption=&contentGUID={BF3F71E8-B79A-441C-AE71-0EE5761B167A}&groupName=WXLC Home&siteGUID={4616A7F8-BC10-4AD5-ACC6-74641EC34F29}

The one of Potsy on the horse is disturbing to me, to the point where I keep waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Why do I have such a problem with it? Not sure. I can't tell if he seems excited to be on a horse, or if he's scared and ready to wet himself, but did his best to smile for the picture. Remember that movie The Black Stallion? I keep picturing Potsy as that kid stuck on the deserted island, except Potsy would be wearing shorts (I seriously think the kid doesn't own a pair of pants), and he's being chased around by a horse. However, since the two of them are the only ones on the island, they start to hang out and eventually become BFF (best friends forever).

Maybe Potsy will grow to love horses so much that he'll ask his Dad to trade in the purple Oldsmobile for a horse. Now that I think about it, I caught Potsy stealing sugar cubes from our kitchen area yesterday, I'd like an explanation. =)

Alright, that's about all I got on the whole horse topic...

Talk to you tonight @ 7pm! And see you tomorrow at the Ritacca Laser Center for out huge XLC Ultimate Makeover finale!!!

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Good morning!
Hope everyone is having a great start to the week. I'm doing alright (thanks for asking), went grocery shopping over the weekend, bought some food and beverage. I'm a big fan of cereal, especially Froot Loops. I think all the generic ones are hilarious and I love how the names are so similar to the actual ones. I seriously spent like 20 minutes in the cereal aisle just cracking up. Here are a few that amused me:

Real: Froot Loops
Fake: Froot Rings

Instead of Toucan Sam, we get some dirty circus monkey on the box. Kinda looks like that annoying monkey toy that just clangs the cymbals. And why didn't they just go with another bird, like a Cockatoo or something?

Real: Cheerios
Fake: Toasted Oats

I bet when the bumblebee got wind of this imposter, he totally went off. How dare they make a generic version of Cheerios, right? I'm sure he expressed his many concerns, but nobody cared. Why? Because we hate bees, they sting us.

Real: Rice Krispies
Fake: Crispy Rice

Anyone fooled by the name switcheroo? I think they should've spelled crispy with a "k" though. As for Snap, Crackle & Pop, these kids have no goals in life. They spend all their time making Rice Krispies and then they sit around all day and eat it. This is why you never see them with girls.

So remember, next time you're at the Jewel...these generics are right next to the actuals. Do NOT be fooled by the imposter!

Ok...that's enough.

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Happy Friday! Believe me when I say I'm trying to blog more than once a week. To be honest, I've had a rough couple weeks, but things look like they're getting back to normal for me.

Hey can I ask you a question? Why is it that some people continually drive 55mph or less in the left lane on 94? Can I just tell you how much that irritates me, especially since I travel on 94 every single morning from 7-8am. Mike Mason has places to go (I'm sure you do too), get out of the way! Now I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, right? Seriously, isn't it common knowledge to be courteous and move over? Aren't there signs that read "slower traffic keep right"? I notice this happens alot with people with Wisconsin plates, or some other out of state plate. I thought this was a universal thing? Am I to believe that people out of state do the opposite? Like if I drive through Indiana, is everyone driving super fast in the right lane and going 55mph in the left?

For example, this morning I'm cruisin' along, makin' great time, then all of a sudden I come up to some yahoo who is takin' his sweet ole time in the left lane, holding the steering wheel at 2 & 10 and has the seat up so far his face is almost pressed against the windshield. Sure, I could easily pass him by and then be on my merry way again...but no, I feel I need to educate him on this simple principle. If this happens to you, feel free to take the following measures:

Step #1 - Tailgate. At this point it's a pretty clear signal that someone is trying to get by, so the slow driver should move over to the right. If not, go to step #2.

Step #2 - Honk. Use it, that's why it's there. If nothing happens, move to step #3.

Step #3 - Flash your brights. If tailgating & honking fails to work, flash your brights. If no reaction from the slow driver, proceed to step #4.

Step #4 - Flash you brights again! Seriously, a second round of brights should at least alert the slow driver to look in his rear view mirror and see you perspiring and mouthing obscenities. If this fails to work, proceed to step #5.

Step #5 - Pass the driver (give them a look as you drive by) but then turn back in the left lane and get in front of them. You should slow down to a speed just under what they were driving and keep at it for a little bit, see if they get annoyed (just like you've been the last few minutes). Usually the slow driver will realize that he's a complete idiot and move over to the right. IF NOT, I have prepared a step #6 for you.

Step #6 - Here I like to do what I call "the thumb". You're right in front of them, they can see you, they should be aware you're the guy they've been making hyperventilate...soooo, take your right hand, closed fist, thumb extended outward and motion them over to the next lane. Please be aware that "the thumb" will usually trigger "the finger", happens almost every time.

Hopefully these 6 steps will assist you the next time you encounter a slow driver in the left lane. If you were unsuccessful in your attempts to get them out of the way, take comfort in the fact that you may have made them aware of their problem. Most likely they'll end up discussing you later in the day, or when they get to work or wherever they're headed. This may even prompt the person listening to ask, "were you in the left lane?". Yep, it's a lesson for the kids out there...

Ok, well I just broke out in to a sweat reliving that whole experience. I'll talk to you at 7pm tonight! =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

p.s. Hi Blog Police!

Hey it's Friday...and I'm blogging. Just wanted to check in real quick and say hey, the blog police told me I had to. Speaking of the po-po, I got pulled over again this week, this time it was for speeding. Seriously, what's wrong with me? Like why am I finding it so hard to obey the law lately? Apparently I was going 30mph in a 45mph, it could've been worse, right? If I keep this up, you're gonna see me on the shoulder of 41 riding an obnoxious bike with a banana seat, a flag...maybe one of those baskets in front. I'm thinkin' the basket might be a plus, I could keep some cool stuff in there, maybe an atlas (for my travels), or some crackers to eat if I got hungry. My question to you, if this happens, would you still be my friend? Please check one:

Yes ____ No ____ Maybe ____ Definitely Not, loser! ____

It would be nice if you all stayed away from that last one (that means you Ortiz).

Ok, off to Gurnee Hyundai! I'm there from 3-5pm!

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hello! Well, the blog po-po are after me...so that means I better drop what I'm doing and blog.

I'm filling in for Haynes Johns this week, who is off somewhere vacationing. On my way to the station I usually stop off and grab something to eat, yesterday it was a pit-stop at the Lake Forest Oasis. Ok first of all, why the hell is that place so crowded at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon??? Anyway, after I waited in line at Auntie Anne's for a pretzel, I noticed on the counter there was a big box of ketchup packets available. Ketchup? On a pretzel??? Who is putting ketchup on their pretzels? Probably the same people who douse it with mustard too I'm sure. Ick!

I'm not a fan of condiments at all. A list of various condiments that gross me out will be included in my next blog.

Blog po-po (R.Ortiz), the deadline has been met.

Mike Mason out, for now...

Talk to you at 3pm.

Good evening! That was my Dracula impersonation, what do you think?

Hope everyone had a nice weekend, just hangin' out at XLC till midnight. I also have another job during the day, working for an insurance company (which just spells fun I know). Anyway, I always have these strange things that keep happening to me in the bathroom. Like today, I'm standing there...minding my own business...going #1...and this guy just starts talking to me. Keep in mind that me & this dude seem to be on the same "schedule" today, 2nd or 3rd time we're in there at the same time (fyi, we've never said two words to each other before).

Ok, here's how the conversation went, please note there are THREE urinals, he uses the left, middle one is empty & i'm using the right:

Talking Urinal Guy: "Is it still raining out there?"
Mike Mason: "Ummmm, not so sure at the moment."
Talking Urinal Guy: "I hope not, I really wanted to go home and mow the back lawn today."
Mike Mason: "Huh, that's great."
Talking Urinal Guy: "I had planned on doing it yesterday, but it rained on me."
Mike Mason: "Really."
Talking Urinal Guy: "Seems everytime I try and get out there to do something, it rains."
Mike Mason: ".........." (has nothing more to contribute)

Of course we finish up our biz at the same time and I head to the sink to wash my hands. Keep in mind there are about EIGHT sinks in there and Talking Urinal Guy uses the one right next to me. Ok seriously, is this guy like a bathroom stalker or what? Here's what I should've said:

Talking Urinal Guy: "Is it still raining out there?"
Mike Mason: "Ummmm...I'm trying to pee man, c'mon."
Talking Urinal Guy: "I hope not, I really wanted to go home and mow the back lawn today."
Mike Mason: "Alright seriously...stranger...please stop talking."
Talking Urinal Guy: "I had planned on doing it yesterday, but it rained on me."
Mike Mason: "That's fabulous, I don't want to talk to you."
Talking Urinal Guy: "Seems everytime I try and get out there to do something, it rains."
Mike Mason: "Ok I'm going to go away now."

It would be different if I knew the guy or we were friends, ya know? Does this happen to other people besides me? Better yet, does this happen to women? Like do other women try and have conversations with each through the stalls?

Alright, I'm out.

Hugs & Kisses,
Mike Mason

p.s. Never thought I'd blog about going #1.

Guess what, it's Thursday! One more day until...yep...you got it, Friday. Do I totally know my days of the week or what? =)

Hey I noticed we have Twinkies in our vending machine. Has anyone bought one yet? I read that they have a shelf life of 25 days, so it should be interesting to see who rolls the dice first. Seriously though, I don't think I've ever seen a Twinkie anywhere outside of a grocery store. As for that cowboy, "Twinkie the Kid", get your crotch off our twinkies man, we have to eat those! See for yourself:

http://www.hostesscakes.com/index.asp

I'd like to see some Zingers in the vending machine, those are my faves. Anyone with me on this? I used to think the chocolate ones were the best, but over the years I've started to lean towards the vanilla ones. Those strawberry coconut ones are just god awful. Whoever conjured up that idea should be stabbed (repeatedly) with a sharp, blunt object...a spork perhaps.

Now I'm hungry, damnit.

Ok, well I'll talk to you at 7pm tonight. =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Happy Wednesday! I'm on day two of my big return to the world of blogging, feelin' good about it...even though some people are giving me a hard time about it, I won't mention any names (JC, TVT, TAT), just initials. =)

So one of my new favorite shows was on last night, "Rescue Me" (with Denis Leary), it's on FX. If you have yet to see this, you should check it out cause it's awesome! Basically I have five favorite must see shows now...24, The Shield, Rescue Me, The Office and The Amazing Race. It used to be six, but as of a couple Sundays ago...I'm totally over The Sopranos (why does it suck so bad now? Oy!). Honestly, I still watch Sesame Street when I can too. If you've ever really sat down and watched the skits with the characters, it's hilarious! Do you ever wonder how some of these guys came to find a home on Sesame Street? Like...

Kermit the Frog - the only real normal one of the bunch (besides the fact that he's involved with a pig). Or did he & Miss Piggy break up? I don't remember reading anything about it in US Weekly, but one would think he could only take so much of "hey who's with the pig?".

Oscar the Grouch - you bitter, angry b@stard! Hey pal, how about getting a job and moving out of the trash can. Someone needs to get him on that A&E show "Intervention", cause he needs some help. Then again, he's been living in his own urine & feces for 35 years, why stop now.

Big Bird - what a freak of nature. I'd be scared to death if I saw that thing coming towards me down the street. When I ride my bike at the park, I can't even make eye contact with the geese cause I'm afraid they are going to chase after me.

The Count - ok first of all, what's with the accent? Second, are we supposed to be scared? He doesn't change in to a bat or sleep in a coffin, plus he goes out during the day...I mean c'mon. I'm convinced he's just a regular guy with OCD because he feels the need to count everything.

Bert & Ernie - two pals who share an apartment together. How do they afford this place? Do either of them have jobs? Ernie spends most of his time in the bathtub & who in their right mind would hire Bert with that thick, black unibrow?

Cookie Monster - probably has the highest cholesterol count of all the muppets on the block. Although he tries to abstain from eating cookies all day, he has no will power. I'm thinking he may have a tapeworm. Someone should introduce him to a box of Snackwells.

Mr. Snuffleupagus - finally came out of hiding in the mid 80's. It used to be that only Big Bird could see him, he'd jet anytime someone else would come around. What was he so self conscious about? Maybe cause his only friend was a giant yellow bird. Apparently that wasn't socially acceptable until 1985.

Guy Smiley - America's forgotten game show host. Long before Pat Sajak & Chuck Woolery became somewhat popular, Guy had it all. He disappeared a few years back, I think he went on the lam. Did you notice he was always over excited & shouted alot. One word, crack.

I left my all time favorite for last:

Grover (or Super Grover) - he is by far the coolest superhero ever, but not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He ties a bright red cape around his neck, wears a Roman helmet (that is like 6 sizes too big for his head) and crashes into everything. When you think about it, he has no business being a superhero, but I like the fact that he does it anyway. William Kaat on the other hand....


Alright...that's about all I can think of at the moment. Plus I spent more time writing about muppets than I originally intended.

Talk to you at 7 bells! =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hello there! Remember me? I used to blog all the time like Joe, Rebecca and Tim, but I became a lost soul...no direction...no will to blog (ok seriously, what am I talking about here?). Anyway, it's been exactly 104 days (yes, I counted) since my last blog and I feel like I really need to get out there again and blog with the best of 'em. Hopefully you will all welcome me back with open arms!

I got pulled over today & received my first ticket in a couple years. Apparently, the Illinois State Police happen to frown upon people who drive on the shoulder. So this morning around 7:15am I was made an example of on 94 & Grand Ave. I did what I could to try & get out of it...I mustered up some charm, put on a happy face, even unbuttoned the top buttons of my shirt to show a little skin. Yeah, "he" wasn't impressed. Come to think of it, I'm lucky I didn't get extra tickets for doing that. Long story short, $75...I can live with that. The lesson to be learned here, don't ride on the shoulder (while passing by John Law in the far right lane at the same time).

That reminds me, does anyone have $75 I can borrow?

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hi. Let me introduce myself, my name is Mike Mason. I work here at XLC and have been the biggest slacker lately when it comes to my blog. Yes I started out strong, but haven't had alot of time to keep up with it. I'm doing what I can to correct that, I don't want people threatening me, I won't mention any names though (Rebecca Ortiz). So what's been going on in Mike Mason's world? Well, I just got back from Turin, Italy where I took Silver in the Ladies Free Skate Short Program. No wait, that was Sasha Cohen. Me & my friend Eric took our daughters Ice Skating on Saturday, I almost ruptured my spleen trying to pull off a triple axle. Other than that I didn't do too bad. My daughter did really well, but I was the clown you always see skating like .01 mph pulling myself along the side of the rink. I think I overhead someone asking Krista, "Is that your Dad that just fell again?". Maybe I'll have to give up Ice Skating, just like I did Roller Blading, Skiing (and during the month of January, curling). Actually I haven't hit the slopes since I almost killed myself back in the winter months of 1988. Ahh those were the days, Bobby McFerrin told us "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and apparently the world was in need of more Paul Hogan, so we were forced to endure another Crocodile Dundee. It was around this time where I took a trip to Colorado with some friends and hit the slopes. At first I spent most of my time on the bunny hill, practicing. I eventually gave in to peer pressure and decided it was time to try out the slopes. Not sure if you know this or not, but Mike Mason is afraid of heights...so the entire time up the ski lift I had to cover my eyes and try not to soil myself. I accidentally went down the wrong hill, the skull & crossbones on the sign should've been my first clue that it was too advanced for me. Believe it or not, I made it down in one piece, had fun, decided to take another run at it. Please note: this is the point in the story where my life almost ends. So me & a buddy are waiting for the ski lift to swoop us away, here it comes, on our way up...but wait...the ski attached to my left foot gets stuck in the snow and comes off. My initial thought? "Oh sh*t!" So what are my options here? Just ride the ski lift to the top, then be the only idiot on the way down with a bunch of empty lifts? Sure, makes sense. After thinking about for a few seconds, I decided to go a slightly different route...I bailed (probably about a 20 foot drop).

Moral(s) of the story:

a) make sure your feet don't get caught in the snow on your way up a ski lift
b) don't jump off a ski lift 20 feet in the air
c) try to avoid acting like a complete jackass at all times

That is all for now. Thank you for welcoming me back in to the world of blogging. I promise to blog on a more frequent basis (I believe this will reduce my number of threatening emails).

Talk to you at 19:00 hours. =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Yo! How it be? Apparently I'm on the 'blog once every two weeks' program. I shall see what I can do to get out of that one, I may need a doctors note. Hope all is well with everyone! I've been entirely way too busy, in fact too busy for my own good. So I have this friend who recently went through a traumatic experience. To keep things anonymous, we'll refer to her as Michelle B., no wait...that's too obvious, how about M. Bellefeuille...yeah that's better. Anyway, because of this experience, she is quickly turning in to quite the A list celebrity. A little background:

She recently got engaged (congrats), was going through the tolls at Highway 60, threw in her change...along with the engagement ring, whoops! First Joe & Rebecca got wind of the situation, then the Daily Herald, now the news networks are all over it. As bad as I feel for her, I think it's hilarious that she's getting all this attention. Not to be mean, but the funny part is that she is just hatin' life right now. In fact, earlier today FOX news tried to reach her, ha! I told her that she needs her own publicist and I would be willing to tackle that position, as long as she supplies me with my own clipboard & laminated badge. I'm thinking I want to take this story national, I'd like to get her on the following networks:

-Channel 11 (I want to see Super Grover come to the rescue)
-The Food Network (I'd like to see a segment with Rachael Ray)
-A&E (it has Biography written all over it)
-Comedy Central (for obvious reasons)
-The Disney Channel (could be a good plot scenario on It's So Raven)
-Gameshow Network (she could be Center Square, or even meet Shadow Stevens)
-Lifetime (movie of the week, her character will be played by Judith Light)
-VH1 (it will be part of some type of countdown)
-The Discovery Channel (some of natures creatures could have trotted off with it. ants perhaps? maybe a squirrel monkey?)
-Court TV (I bet OJ had something to do with it)
-Animal Planet (this is why I don't own a cat)
-Telemundo (I just want to see one of those dramatic close-ups)

...the list could go on & on.

Anyway, word on the street is that she has a new ring & just wants to forget this ever happened. Unfortunately with having a friend like me around, the likelihood of that is pretty slim, ha! Just kiddin' MB.

And happy birthday wishes going out to Aaron Neville. We all had the pleasure this morning of hearing JC doing his version of "Don't Know Much" w/TVT (who reluctantly played the role of Linda Ronstadt). Aaron Neville is 65 today, but I want to know how old that giant freakin' mole is that takes up 3/4 of his forehead. It has to be at least 400 (in mole years). How much you want to bet that thing has its own weather system???

Ok, talk to you at 7 bells! =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hey there! Sorry...I haven't blogged in some time, since December 13th to be exact. I've just been so busy and on the go, haven't had time to do much of anything. Doctor Nick Riviera said if I don't slow down, I'm going to give myself skin failure. Been on this diet kick, lost about 10-15 lbs which I'm happy about. I'm going through water like water, in fact I've been peeing like a freakin' racehorse. What the hell does that mean anyway? Do racehorses have some sort of issue with their bladders that I'm not aware of? I've also been going to the mall alot lately, which isn't rare for me. I had this sweater on yesterday that I got at my store (GAP), it was this off white v-neck type, but I think the material was lambswool or something. I'm tellin' ya, I couldn't stop shedding ALL day. I apologize to my co-workers, if you see white looking fuzz laying around, it's Mason. Hopefully none of you are allergic to me. I'm still refusing to believe that Christmas is over. I love Christmas, so much that I don't have the heart to take my tree down. I just sit indian style in my living room, looking out my blinds & pouting, waiting for Santa to come back. Mainly cause he brought me the wrong DVD player...fat b@st@rd. So I started to sprout an afro, was forced to go and get my haircut this past weekend. Got BUTCHERED like a hog. See this dude Jerry has been cutting my hair since I was like 10 years old. After 21 years of bad haircuts, I still feel like I have some type of loyalty to the guy...like Jerry Seinfeld had to Enzo. Every now and then I get a really good cut, but for the most part...I walk outta there wearing a hat, sometimes a helmet. One time he was trimming the part around my ear (that's supposed to be round), well he went so high up I had an inch and a half bald spot. It went from round to more of a parallelogram. He always defends himself too, he will never admit to me that he made a mistake. Like the whole bald spot thing was just a "gray area". Then one time he had a really sharp pair of scissors and stabbed me in the ear, I thought I was gonna bleed out man. A few inches over, I would've been done for...just grab some white chalk and draw my outline around the barber's chair. Then he had the NERVE to tell me I moved!

Wow, apparently I have gone on a little bit of a tanget. Back to business real quick - we're giving away trips. Go sign up @ www.1023xlc.com!

If you win, you should take me with you. No? Well, you should rethink that. Still no? Hmmm, well sleep on it then...

Talk to you in a few hrs. =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Yo-Yo-Ma.
Happy Tuesday! Just got back from Super Target, finally purchased my Christmas Tree ( I've been slackin'). Also picked up the "40 Year Old Virgin", just came out today. Saw it in the theater, hysterical! My pals Joe & Rebecca mentioned something this morning about this thing that helps kids make snowballs, I think it was called the "snowballer". Please, that's just weak. I compare that to the kids I see at my daughter's school using those luggage type backpacks on wheels, with the attached handle. One word comes to mind...lazy. Anyway, I thought of the good ole days and everything that made winter so fun. My top five:

5) Making Snowmen
As a kid you build one with your Dad, he builds the big one, you have the little one. Last year I made one that was lifelike, it was so much fun. I made the base so big that I had to get on the ground with my back facing it & was forced to push it with my legs. Then I screwed myself cause that meant the middle part had to be big too. I almost had to get a BobCat to lift that thing on top of the base. I think I used either Oreos or Thin Mints for the eyes and "borrowed" a scarf & Bears hat from my Dad (he was thrilled). I thought about putting a cumberbun on it too, but he was more of a casual snowman. Turned out pretty well, got alot of drive-bys.

4) Going Sledding
I had this sweet sled...sleek, black, flame pinstripes, two handles on the side & a seat where I could sit up. Not to mention great gas mileage. All I know is the first time I rode in that thing, I went so fast I practically soiled myself. It was like that scene in Christmas Vacation where Clark Griswald flies down the hill on the saucer at mach speed. Now the only time I wet myself is the mere sight of a roller coaster...and any movie with Gerard Depardieu...he's a scary son of a b.

3) Building Forts
How fun was this?! Like JC pointed out, it could be dangerous depending on the location of your fort (by the curb perhaps). But do you remember, once you built it and sat in it...what came next? Pretty much nothing, except for the occasional snowball blasts from your friend who made another fort about 15 feet away from yours. You think little Donnie Trump made SnowScrapers? Regardless, he should still lose the comb-over.

2) Sword fights with wrapping paper rolls
I couldn't wait for the last bit of wrapping to come off that roll. That meant game on! Of course because of the durability of the roll, the sword fights would last about 3 seconds...but it was 3 seconds of pure magic. And when the wrapping paper rolls dented, we'd put on puffy shirts and use real swords. To this day I think our own Brian Halford still does that, but as a rule of thumb: jeans always make the perfect pirate outfit.

1) Having Snowball Fights
Remember how proud you were after making that perfect snowball? Even when it was snowing & there wasn't packing snow, you'd still try to make one. I was one of those kids who sometimes resorted to using a little bit of ice in my snowball. Hey, when you're back is against the wall...what's a kid to do?! It's battle conditions out there people! Me & my buddy Chris had a battle one day across the street & I had one that was 65-66% ice (no more than 67% though) & just as I threw it the idiot looks away. I don't know if the kid had a bullseye on his face that day or what but I pegged him right between the peepers. I think he was able to stop wearing the patch on his eye after a few weeks.

Alright...feel some carpal tunnel coming on. Gonna go ice up the wrists, need them to wax some tracks @ 7pm.

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hola! Happy Thursday! It's been 3 days since I came down with the birdflu, but starting to feel alot better. Racked up about 10 hours of sleep last night, plus all I had to eat yesterday were soup & fat-free saltine crackers. My cousin Barry (he's a pigeon) called me up and wants to hang out at lunch by the park. Apparently there's some people there who are throwing down some pretty sweet bread crumbs. I'll let you know how that works out for me. Hey have you caught that show on FX called "Rescue Me"? It's with Denis Leary, about the FDNY. It's awesome, I highly recommend it. I'm pretty excited because my two favorite shows premiere next month, "24" and "The Shield" (which is also on FX). I would always see previews for Rescue Me during The Shield, but never bothered to give it a chance. I stumbled upon it at the Blockbuster because I was bored out of my freakin' gourd the weekend of Thanksgiving. All my friends were out of town and I seriously had nothing to do. I spent most of my days & nights at the mall and at one point I walked down the toy aisle at Target and contemplated buying myself a LEGO set to put together. That reminds me, do they still sell Lincoln Logs? Anyway, I ended up just renting the 1st season of Rescue Me and it was great! Well I expect Barry to fly in any minute, gotta go put my goggles on.

Have a great day, talk to you @ 7p!

xoxo,
Mike Mason
or as I'm known amongst the bird people "Caw, Caw"

Good morning! Been SO busy, not much time to blog lately...but I promise to step it up a few notches. I've also been meaning to start my Christmas shopping, the goal is to get it done before the 25th. Good goal, wouldn't you say? Actually for someone who likes the mall & shopping as much as I do, it's surprising why it takes me so long to finish getting all my Christmas gifts. I was at Westfield Hawthorn mall the other day & I'm waiting in line at Auntie Annes for a pretzel (I feel the need to get one every time I'm in the mall, I could have an addiction) & these two old bittys just barrel through out of nowhere & borderline knock me over. Easy Ethel(s)! I'm not sure if there was some mad footrace around the mall they were late for or what, but now I can never say I was bullied by seniors at the mall over pretzels.

So I'm not feeling so hot today. It all started yesterday when my stomach started to ache. Thought it might've been from the turkey sub I had at lunch...now I'm not so sure. Anyway, I was up all night and now I'm tired as hell. I think I may have the bird flu. Once I post this blog I'm going to log on to webMD & see how many symptoms I have. I'm a little worried because not only did I find myself perched up on a ledge earlier, but I'm having this sudden urge to go make a nest.

Hey have you heard that Laffy Taffy song? Yes, someone found another way to fit candy in to a song. I'm imagining the rest of the tracks on this dude's album:

1. Laffy Taffy
2. Air-Heads
3. Bubble Tape
4. Snickers Popables
5. Sour Patch Kids (featuring Lil' Kim)
6. Dots
7. SnoCaps
8. Pop Rocks
9. Big League Chew
10. Zingers
11. Whistle Pop
12. Necco Wafers
13. Now & Later (Remix)

Ok, that's all for now I think. I feel close to passing out on my keyboard.

Talk to u later!

Mike Mason

P.S. I just ran in to some guy in the hallway who looks like Phil Keogan, the host of 'The Amazing Race'.

Ok how many of you just did the math?
Good morning! Happy Tuesday. For most of us...only ONE more day to go, then it's a four day weekend! Unless you're in radio (and your names aren't Joe & Rebecca) you're still working, which is the case with me. So I'm in traffic this morning on 94 and some dude who looks like Ernest Hemmingway cuts me off. Seriously, put down the manuscript and keep your peepers on the road. My commute in the morning is exactly like the opening scene in "Office Space". I'm in the right lane at a dead stop...I look over and see the cars in the middle lane crusing...I decide to change lanes only to find that the second that happens the middle lane now halts to a dead stop...but the right lane is cruising now. Yeah that's when road rage takes over (grr!). Then on top of that you have the author of 'The Old Man and the Sea' trying to run you off the road. Makes for a good morning! Then I'm on xlc.com yesterday to check out our Treasure Chest pictures. Hey nice group shot! Who's the clown in the back that no one can see? My impression of the guy that took the picture (Greg): "Hey Rebecca, you stand here. Mike Mason you get behind Rebecca, now a little to the right...more...more...a little more...there ya go, perfect!" You can see the finished product on our website. Maybe I'm just hideous and no one wants to tell me, they just try and throw me hints by having people stand in front of me in pictures. When I'm home on Thanksgiving I'm going to drag out all our photo albums and count how many times I'm conveniently shoved in the background behind some sort of object.

I'll probably blog more later...

Have a great day! =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hola! Hey the weekend is finally here, this felt like the longest week ever. Just finished up filling in for Frank Wright the past two days, working 9a-3p. It was weird actually being in the building when it was light out...and seeing people inside. So I'm going to stick to the TV theme and ask this question, am I the only one who thinks Scooby Doo is one of the dumbest cartoons of all time? It's god awful! I don't even get the point of the show. I'm really annoyed by Fred, who is in dire need of a fashion makeover. And is he dating Daphne, are they friends, what's the deal? Daphne is cute, I dig the red hair, but give that kid an ultimatum...either lose the orange scarf or find another van full of misfits to hang out with. Velma is a total nerd, but I think maybe she has a secret thing for Fred, wearing an orange sweater and all. We all know what's up with Shaggy, he smokes too much weed and is too high to contribute anything positive to their little investigations. Not to mention Scooby, poor thing does nothing but get a contact buzz all day. Which brings me to my next question, did they ever get paid for solving these cases? How did they earn money? I'm pretty sure the "Mystery Machine" ran on gasoline, right? From what I remember, all Shaggy & Scooby did was eat sandwiches (the munchies). I bet while the other three were off doing real P.I. work, those two clowns were off raiding the refrigerator for anything that was classified as food or beverage. Now besides 'The Simpsons', my favorite cartoon of all time is 'Tom and Jerry'. For years these two fought intense battles, but then decide to bury the hatchet and agree to become pals. Fyi, wasn't a big fan of that. Plus somewhere in this little agreement, Jerry decides to start wearing a red bow tie. Why stop there Jer...throw on a cumberbun too. Dude you're a mouse, take the friggin' tie off. And as dumb as Tom was, he was persistent, right? Which is what you normally want in a house cat. Actually I have no clue because I'm not a fan of cats. What do they do??? Nothing. They don't really fetch, roll over (on cue), hand you a paw and you can't take them for walks. For the record, if you take anything that is not a dog (i.e. a ferret, guinea pig or anything that Jack Hanna likes to peddle on Letterman) for a walk, you have issues that need to be dealt with immediately.

Ok, that's all for now!

Have a great weekend, talk to you Sunday afternoon (3-7p).

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hola! Yep, it's Monday...start of another long work week. Hope everyone had a great weekend. I slept in a little bit Saturday morning, crashed over at my parents house (my daughter wasn't feeling well). Ended up catching an episode of 'Saved by the Bell'. Apparently in this wacky episode, the gang got together & formed a band. They cleverly coined themselves, "Zack Attack". And wouldn't you know - each one of them had some type of musical talent. You have lead singer Zack Morris, who also played guitar. A.C. Slater was the drummer (he also sang). You have Jessie Spano & Kelly Kapowski as your backup singers, Lisa Turtle played the bass and everyone's favorite dork Screech Powers on the keyboards. They gave us such hits as "Love Me Now", "Make my Day" and my personal favorite..."Friends Forever". In one scene, a bunch of girls bum rush the stage and rip off Screech's shirt, exposing his bare chest. The crowd went nuts! He has the body of a 12 year old vegetarian, hey what's not to love, right ladies? Zack Attack played the school dance, but I only saw like 6 couples dancing. Question...I had almost 600 kids in my graduating high school class, where is the rest of this class??? And how did Mr. Belding keep his job for so long? With the exception of Principal Seymour Skinner, have you ever seen a principal this stupid before? I would've loved to have seen the Superintendent come down, fire Belding, catch Zack in the middle of one of his 'capers', tell Slater to stop lifting free weights during gym and then haul Screech's parents in for a conference to ask them why they continue to dress him in the most ridiculous outfits.

Other than that it was an ok show, ha! =)

Talk to you tonight at 7 bells.

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hey hey! Happy Tuesday, or as we say in Spanish...Martes. Heard my co-workers Joe & Rebecca talking about Joe's ONE gray hair this morning. Couldn't help but feel lucky for him considering I have a whole nation of them on top of my head. I believe I first started noticing my little gray enemies a few years ago once I fell in to my late twenties. The worst is when I find one every now and then in my goatee (which is red) and it sticks out like a freakin' sore thumb. I'm the proud owner of a pair of tweezers (why are they called a pair, it's one item) and do not hesitate to yank that puppy outta there. Yeah it hurts like a son of a b, but I can handle it. I think I've blogged about this before, but every time I get my haircut my barber (who's been cutting my hair since I was about 10) this is what I hear, "Man are you going gray". Yeah thanks Jerry! Then I'm sitting in the chair with that black apron around me, watching the silver hairs fall down. Sometimes if I look closely, I can see a tear or two trickle down. HOWEVER, he always make sure to tell me that at least I have and will ALWAYS have my hair and that gray hair on a man is a sign of distinction, but on a woman it's a sign of an old bag. Ladies: that is a direct quote from my barber Jerry, not from Mike Mason. So my message to Joe, suck it up and deal with your ONE 'recurring' gray hair. Or watch those late night infomercials and wait for the one about that hair spray paint stuff. Not sure if they still sell it, I think it may have went out with the Flow-Bee...

Sincerely,

Mike Mason
a.k.a The Silver Fox
a.k.a Johnny Salt & Pepper

Greetings! Having a good Tuesday? That's great. I got so wrapped up in my Best Buy rant yesterday I forgot to mention my daughter's birthday party. Krista's Mom & I threw her a party at a bowling alley, that's where she wanted it again this year. A bunch of her friends from school came, our families & friends too...we had such a fun time!!! And for the 2nd year in a row, Krista beat all the kids (she got 100) and Daddy beat all the adults, I racked up a 196. Not bad huh? My Dad loved to bowl, he was like Tiger Woods Dad, trying to get me to bowl at an early age. He took me to get lessons on the weekends and bought me a ball, a red one with sparkles. Nothing like inviting kids to come and beat the crap out of you, ya know? Plus the lessons didn't go as planned, I could've easily done without all the shouting...and cursing. I remember my parents always used to watch bowling on ABC Saturday afternoons, I think they still do. I find that as exciting as watching NASCAR. Seriously, what's the point? Why would I want to subject myself to watching cars go around in a big circle for three hours? Why don't I just grab a lawn chair, sit on the shoulder of the Kennedy Expressway and watch the cars whiz by. Anyway I remember my Dad always getting so excited watching these bowlers play. For the record, most of these guys get a strike every single time, so where's the suspense? I think it would be fun to hang out at one of these bowling tournaments some time, be all loud, maybe bring a big sign...or a foam finger. Who's with me?

Well I'm on in a few hours, talk to you then. =)

Mike Mason
Under Average Bowler

Hi! Hope everyone had a great weekend!
It was my daughter Krista's birthday on Friday, the big "9". I picked her up from school...then went home to open some presents. Went through a HUGE ordeal that morning though, oy! One of the things she wanted was a stereo system. We had been cruising Best Buy a month ago and she really liked this Sony one, it holds 5 cd's and you press eject the cd holder automatically stretches out and then pops up, it's pretty cool. So I had been searching all over for it and finally found one at the Best Buy in Schaumburg (per the Vernon Hills location). I call up there at 2:30pm Thursday afternoon and the guy said they have one left (which I already knew), so I asked if he could put it aside for me, I'd be in to get it when they open on Friday. He said it was no problem, I gave him my name and he said he'd leave it in the Home Theater department. So Mike Mason arrives in Schaumburg at 10:10am (all the way from Kenosha). What time does he leave you ask? Well I'll let you know that I walked out of there close to noon...yes, almost ONE HOUR & 45 MINUTES later. What happened in between that time you also ask? Ok, I shall begin to make sense of all the madness now. I walk in, go straight to the Home Theater dept, give this kid 'Nolan' my name & told him I was here to pick up a Sony Stereo System that was put aside for me yesterday. He walks around for about 10-15 min, comes back, says he can't find it. He proceeds to ask me who I talked to, I said I didn't remember, then says he'll be right back. After going up and down the home audio aisle a dozen times, walking over his own footsteps, he returns about 10-15 min later, says he can't find it. Asks me again what it is I put on hold (although I wanted to tell him to refer back to the conversation we just had 25 minutes ago), I tell him. Proceeds to go back and look for it again, leaves me pacing for about a half hour, comes back, says he can't find it. I said you can't find a big box that says SONY on it and has my name MIKE on it??? He says yes. Maybe you're wondering to yourself that they sold it. I wondered the same thing and had him look it up in their system, they still had one left (yeah mine). I told him to go find his manager for me. So this kid brings back this other kid, who's looking all important holding a clipboard and can't be much older than a 6th grader. WITHOUT looking me in the eye the ENTIRE time, asks what the problem is. A) You know damn well what the problem is. B) Look me in the eye when we talk. C) What's with the clipboard? So I explain to him that I spoke to someone yesterday at 2:30pm and he agreed to put the last one aside for me. I also added that I DROVE FROM A DIFFERENT STATE to come pick this thing up for my daughter and I wasn't leaving without it. He adds a piece of information that still baffles me, "we can't seem to find it". I add, "how do you lose a big box with the words SONY...and MIKE on it?" It was at this point I contemplated banging their heads together like Moe from The Three Stooges. Of course they ask me again who I talked to, I said all I remember was that I called at 2:30pm and it was a guy. He says if I remembered who I talked to, they could follow up (so is he telling me it's my fault now?). So Johnny Clipboard ends our conversation with, "I'm sorry there is nothing we can do", then WALKS AWAY!!! I'm sorry, this was just an unacceptable answer to me. Stunned at this point, not to mention it's about 11:15am, I'm really in the mood to make a stink. I make my way over to the Customer Service counter, explain what I've been dealing with for the last hour and she gets on the intercom to call over the manager. Guess who shows up? Johnny Clipboard. I tell her that "this is the same clown that tried to help me out before but didn't know what was going on". She asks him do you know what's going on here? He says NO! Ummm, were we not just speaking about 3 minutes ago? So I see him getting all flustered, then without even making any eye contact with me at all, he agrees to do a substitution. So after all that chaos, all the pacing back and forth, all the sweat pouring from my forehead, I walk away with the new, higher end model (which cost $100 more), but they gave it to me at the older model price. Although it took another 1/2 hour to check me out, I did what I said I was going to do, walk outta there with a stereo system for my daughter.

In conclusion, this was the most agonizing customer service experience I have ever encountered. I don't know about you, but if I happened to be the Best Buy employee who was helping me...you better believe I would've been up and down every aisle, asking someone in each department if they had a stereo system set aside. It's not like this was a transistor radio, this box BARELY fit in my car! Ok, the ordeal is over...Krista was ecstatic over her big gift...Daddy was excited to see her happy! =)

MORAL OF MY LONG STORY: Don't take any crap from anyone. If someone promises you something, they need to follow through with it!!!

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. Have a great evening & I'll talk to you in about 3 hours.

Sincerely,

Mike Mason
Disgruntled Customer

Good evening! I'm sitting here waxin' some tracks on yet another winning weekend. Ryan Cabrera tickets are up for grabs, should be a good night. Hey can someone tell me what's going on with that dude's hair? I think he's single handedly keeping the Aquanet people in business. I swear I saw him on Jay Leno the other night carrying a can of that stuff in a holster around his waist. Tell me he doesn't have trouble getting up in the morning, must take him 20 minutes to lift that thing off the pillow, it's like an orange on a toothpick. Hey don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of Ryan C...he's just rockin' some crazy hair is all. I think the problem here is that I have way too much caffeine in my system. I brought in an outside beverage to work (20 oz Diet Mt. Dew), this 12 oz can stuff is kids play, ya know? Apparently this has developed in to a giant ramble...I will talk to you Monday night...OR if you're so inclined - call/email me tonight, I'm here till midnight.

Peace out dawgs.

Mike Mason

Hola! Again, the link to my blog was removed from our website. I expect it to be back shortly, just sent the culprit an email...we'll refer to him as Joe C. No wait, too obvious...let's call him J Cicero. Anyway, hope things are going well with everyone. Got some good news in the mail the other day. Apparently I was selected by the "World's Leading Fitness Center Franchise" as a potential winner in one of their giveaways. All I had to do was scratch off the front side of the card to see what I won. Grand Prize was a 2 Year FREE membership & a 3 Day/2 Night vacation package. First prize was a 1 month FREE membership, second prize was a 1 week FREE membership. I am happy to announce that I was awarded the second prize...a 1 week FREE membership to 'Ladies Workout Express'. They have a 24 station circuit training, a kids waiting area and tanning is available to members only. Since I'm the lucky second prize winner, I guess that makes me a member. Do you think they'll care that I'm not a lady? I'm gonna throw on the headband, some wristbands, maybe some leg warmers...and cruise on over to 'Ladies Workout Express' and sign up. Wish me luck! =)

Have an awesome Thursday!

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Hola! Como esta usted, y tu? Well the blog police are on the prowl today...so I have to make sure I'm on my game. Big XLC pep rally is tonight, Libertyville Sports Complex...be there or be square...or a rhombus, whatever works. Unfortunately I won't be able to attend cause it begins at 7pm, which is exactly the time I go on the air. I really want to try out the climbing wall at the LSC, but I'm a little afraid of heights. You'd think I'd be over it by now considering I'm 29 years old. Ok I just lied, I'm 30. Whoa look at that, I just lied again, I'm really 31. I remember in 4th grade my class was taking a field trip downtown to the Sears Tower. My Mom wrote a note saying her loser of a son (not sure if she used the word loser), couldn't join the party cause he had a weak stomach and was afraid of heights. The funny thing about that is I get it from my Mom. However Dad and my sister Katie are totally opposite of us. We went to one of those small carnival events, I think I was a teenager...and someone thought it would be a brilliant idea to have a family Tilt-a-Whirl adventure. Dad & sis had a blast, high five-in' after it was over...Mom & me walked back to the car and tossed our cookies. Yeah it was a proud Mason moment. My parents have a second home in Florida and we would go down there a few times a year growing up, so I've been to Orlando many, many times. Each time I'd just stick to the simple water rides. Maybe I'd live on the edge and go on one of those kids rides like "It's a Small World". Total rebel. I'm happy to tell you that I went down there a couple years ago with a girl I had been dating at the time and we went to Disneyworld and Mike Mason went on EVERY single ride...even the treacherous "Space Mountain". Sure I was scared to death and even wept a little, but I made it. Proud of me? I knew it! Thanks. =)

Ok, talk to you later.

Sincerely,
Mike Mason

It's Friday...finally! Hope everyone has big, fun plans for the weekend. I'm working tonight of course 7p-midnight, then tomorrow 3-7p. So I was driving on 41 early yesterday morning and was stuck in traffic (what else is new). I'm in the right lane and this dude passes me to the left in a station wagon...want to know what he was doing inside? You do? Cool, cause I want to share it with you. He was BRUSHING HIS TEETH! Ok who does this??? Even if I'm running like super late, I still leave time to brush my teeth. I started cracking up to myself, couldn't believe it! Apparently this clown has some time management issues, so it got me thinkin'...what else might he do on the go? Like does he have a little portable toaster in his car? Could you imagine being next to him on the road and all of a sudden you see two pieces of toast just pop up out of nowhere. Maybe he velcro'd a Mr. Coffee machine to his dashboard, but I was too caught up in the whole teeth thing to catch it. Ok, I need to go get ready for work now. I won't bother showering at home, I'll just bring a bucket of water and a bar of Zest in the car with me.

Well call me (336-1023) or email me (mike@1023xlc.com) tonight!!! =)

Yours Truly,

Mike Mason

Feliz Miercoles! It's 11:30am and I'm already on my second cup of coffee. Early projections have me at about 4 cups by the end of the day, maybe 4.2, who knows?! Friday night before our big shindig at Finn's, I had stopped at the Citgo by my place to get some gas. Keep in mind I had been on the go ALL day starting at 7am, ok? Plus my daughter was leaving for Florida with her Mom the following morning, so I had to say goodbye to her (I also told her I was going to give her some spending money). So I got ready, left my place, went to the ATM machine and took out $60, then over to Citgo. Since I was in a hurry, I only put in $10. The plan was to get a couple fives back from the remaining $10 cause I was going to give Krista $25 (she had already saved up $75 for the trip - how cute is she?!). I'm at the farthest pump away from the building, I walk in...hand the cashier a $20 to pay for my gas...and I told her, "Can I get two fives back instead of ten?". She gives me change and I walk out. Normally I count my change and arrange my bills but I was in a hurry, so I just stuffed the money in my pocket. Is everyone following my tale so far? I walked to my car, I got in, pulled away and was waiting in the parking lot for traffic to clear so I could leave. In my rear view mirror I see the cashier standing outside the doorway with her hands on her hips staring at my car. I was like, "what's her deal?". I pull away and head over to see Krista, on my way I take out my cash so I could have her $25 ready. Then it all starts to make sense...guess how much I had in my pocket? The original $60. Instead of the cashier giving me two fives, she gave me two fives and a ten. I got free gas!

Here are my questions to you. Is this whole incident my fault because the Citgo employee can't count? Does this mean I'm a criminal now? Do I have to go on the lam? Did that woman have a police sketch artist work up a picture of me? If so, I hope she got my good side. In conclusion, if you happen to see some dude around the station or at station events wearing an overcoat, a fake mustache and those glasses with the big nose & bushy eyebrows - that's me.

Take care!

The guy formerly known as Mike Mason

HELLO! Wouldn't ya know, I go to our website to read my "co-workers" blogs and apparently I've been put on probation. Yeah that has JC's handiwork all over it. Well here you go, day 1. So one of my favorite holidays is just around the corner, Halloween. I thoroughly enjoy dressing up and making an ass out of myself. I gotta tell ya though, not really sure what I'm going as this year. I went shopping over the weekend (big surprise) and was at Target and found myself browsing the costume aisle. I ended up spotting something that I totally found weird, I even talked about it last night. Target has a kids Magnum P.I. costume. Let me repeat...a KIDS Magnum P.I. costume. Here is what's included: a wig, mustache, sunglasses, lei and hawaiian shirt. Does anyone else have a problem with this? Do kids even know who Thomas Magnum is??? "Hey little Jimmy, who are you going as this year...Darth Vader, or maybe Batman?". "No man, I'm going as Tom Selleck". Hey why not just dress your kid up as that British guy Higgins who was on the show. Seriously, MM is going to do some research and see how many of these costumes are actually sold. Ok, I'm going to get some caffeine...and TAKE ME OFF PROBATION! =)

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Feliz Viernes! Yeah that's right, 7 years of Espanol right there. So I went to Best Buy last weekend & bought a couple DVDs, one of them being 'Shaun of the Dead'. Anyone seen this yet? Everyone I mention this to has NO clue what I'm taking about, but it was in theaters last year. It's absolutely hilarious! Basically it's a comedy version of 'Night of the Living Dead'/'Dawn of the Dead', that kind of thing. Go rent it & tell me what you think! Or if you have HBO/Cinemax, it just started playing on one of those. Getting back to Best Buy, can anyone tell me what's up their receipts? Why are they so long? It's like the Declaration of Independence. The dude behind the counter had to change paper rolls it was so long. I could've wrapped it around my neck and wore it as a scarf. Seriously, why do they feel the need to give me all this paper? I don't want it, nor do I need it.

Have a great weekend! =)

Mike Mason

p.s. I'll blog about the subject title later...

Hola! It's Thursday night, sittin' in the studio...thought I'd write a quick blog. I was watching "The Empire Strikes Back" the other night. Which, if you've read my bio on XLC.com, you'll know that's one of my favorite movies of all time. I'm tellin' ya, when I was a kid I totally wanted to be Darth Vader. I'd wear a cape to school, my teachers would ask me for my homework...I would just wave my hand & say "You don't need to see my homework". Ok the Jedi mind trick never worked but it was always worth a try. So watching that movie got me thinking, how stressful of an environment do you think it was working for the Empire. I mean if you reported directly to Darth Vader, you make one wrong move & the dude kills you. Other than that, I'm sure it was a good company to work for...401K, good medical/dental package, tuition reimbursement, competitive salary. Do you think that when a potential new hire came in & watched the orientation video, it mentions that if you screw up Darth Vader will have you killed? Probably not. I'm sure if it did they'd get the hell out of there & just head down a galaxy or two & apply at one of those kiosks in the Mall, or maybe at Dollar General. I want to know about the parts they didn't show you in the movie. For instance, was there a break room on any of these ships? Like employees standing around a watercooler gabbing about The Death Star, or the latest Empire Reality show. Then in walks Darth Vader to grab a cup of coffee...drops his change...picks it up...puts it in the machine...then the paper cup doesn't come down...he kicks the machine. Of course as soon as his change hit the floor everybody bolted. Plus we all need to eat, right? Where was the cafeteria? And who did Darth Vader take lunch with every day? Or maybe he just brown bagged it, who really knows?! These were pretty big ships too, I'm sure it wasn't easy to communicate, so I'm assuming that there were interoffice memos floating around. What if you got one in your mailbox which read at the top, "From the Desk of Darth Vader...", you know you're pretty much a dead man, right?

Ok, enough pondering for one night. Getting back to work now...email me!

Mike Mason

Yo! Well it's Thursday, the weekend is almost here...finally! I'm just hangin' out drinking a Diet Mt. Dew "Code Red". Code red...are we to believe it's bottled by a secret government agency or something? Please. It's not all that bad I guess, does the trick...gets you hopped on caffeine. Does anyone even drink Kool-Aid anymore? I remember back in the day we used to go through that stuff like water. However my parents kept getting pissed cause each time we'd mix up a batch, that idiot Kool-Aid Man would come barreling through our walls. Ok first of all, does this guy have something against using a door? Granted he probably can't fit through one but c'mon...I know he's fat & out of shape but that doesn't give him the right to come busting through the wall. And what's with his catch phrase, "Oh Yeah!". So what exactly are you implying Kool-Aid Man, that you're happy to be destroying our property? Sure it was amusing the first few times, "Hey look kids, a giant pitcher of red Kool-Aid just tore up our house, what a character!". After repeated offenses, we knew our Dad had seen enough cause he had a contractor come out to the house & assess the damage, so he could give Kool-Aid Man an estimate. Dad invites him over to the house, Kool-Aid Man pulls up in his AMC Pacer with the muffler draggin' on the cement. He hands him the estimate & Kool-Aid Man just went ballistic, arms flailing about...ice everywhere...I had never heard a pitcher use swear words like that before. So they had a big falling out (it almost came fist to cuffs) and Kool-Aid Man left, never to return. From that day forward if we wanted to mix up something to drink, we were only allowed to use "Wylers".

Ok, have a great day! =)

Mike Mason

Hola! How are ya? I had a few minutes so I thought I would update my B-Log.
I ended up getting my hair cut on Saturday, I heard it again, "Man are you going gray". Ugh, thank you...I know! At least I haven't found any wayward gray eyebrow hairs, what a shock to the system that was! So anyway, when I first started growing a goatee ('96), I noticed that the hair in my mustache was two different colors. Directly underneath my nose it came in real dark, but both ends would be super light. Basically I kinda looked like Charlie Chaplin (minus the hat/cane). Of course my friends had a field day with that one so by early '98...I just decided to take matters in to my own hands & dye it. My ex had just finished dyeing her hair & I asked if she had any left over. She goes, "yeah why?". I said I wanted to borrow some of it. She pauses & says, "for what?". I replied, "to dye my stache". Another pause, again she says, "why?". Ok seriously, this went on for like 37 minutes...until I somehow convinced her my idea was a good one. So I put on the plastic glove, squeezed a little dye on my finger & worked some magic. I was also instructed to let it sit for about 15 minutes then go wash it out. No prob, right? Well the Bulls were playing in the Finals & the game had just started so I sat down in the recliner to watch. I was really in to it & about 2 1/2 hours later she comes out of the other room & starts laughing hysterically. I asked her what was so funny??? She points to my face & says go look at yourself! Apparently I forgot to wash out the dye & almost had a grabber when I looked in the mirror. Then I remembered during the game I had been wondering why my face felt kinda stiff (totally clueless). ANYWAY, I went from looking like Charlie Chaplin to Groucho Marx...like someone took a thick black magic marker & drew in their own mustache. I scrubbed my face raw for 3 days trying to get that stuff off. It was actually pretty funny, but was the last time I tried to dye anything on my face. Luckily for me as I got older my mustache hair got darker & became all one color. To sum things up, I'm a moron. Ok I'm going to check for more white hairs now...

Have a great day! =)

Mike Mason

Whaaaat's happenin'?! That's my Lumberg impression from 'Office Space'. I was up early again this morning, I have 3 cups of coffee under my belt. My day was going ok until a friend of mine came up to me and informed me that I had a gray (or is it grey) hair in my eyebrow. I freaked out, grabbed a mirror and lo and behold, there it was...sticking out like a sore thumb. There were no tweezers around so I just plucked it out with my fingers. It took a few times, but I successfully removed it. I've come to terms with the whole gray thing a few years back when my barber first brought it to my attention. His name is Jerry and he's been cutting my hair since 1985, when I got my hair feathered (yeah it was hot). So I go there every couple weeks, cause my hair grows like a freakin' chia pet. I swear if I let it go any more than 2 or 3 weeks I start to look like Sideshow Bob from 'The Simpsons'. Now I hear it from him every time I go, "Man are you going gray". Hey Johnny Repeats Himself...thank you - I'm well aware! The good thing is that I'm not losing my hair, it's just changing colors. I was actually born with a reddish tint to my hair, now it only shows up in my goatee. My Mom, my Grandma and Grandpa...all reds! Whenever anyone asks my daughter where she gets her red hair from, she just takes her thumb and points it in my direction. It's cute.

Ok remind me to tell you about when I thought it was a good idea a few years back to dye my mustache. I'll share that one with you tomorrow...

Talk to you later,

The Silver Fox (Mike Mason)

Happy Monday! Hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was good, took my daughter Krista ice skating on Saturday. I found out that I'm even less coordinated than I had remembered. I did well, didn't fall once...except for when I attempted that triple axle. Yeah I won't be doing that one again (the doctor said at least for 6-8 weeks). It reminded me of when I had the urge to pick up rollerblading a few years back. It was fun at first, until I found it difficult to stop my forward motion. I'd be going down a hill and picking up speed on the way down, practically wetting myself I was so frightened! I'd have to dive in the grass to stop. It was either carry one of those canned air horns to warn people some idiot was coming behind them, wrap myself up in bubble wrap or wear a bell. So I ended up just taking them back, BUT the dude at Sportmart convinced me to try the same ones - but they had built in brakes. Yeah I bought 'em. First of all these things weighed like 65 pounds, each. Then I took them out for a spin one day. The excursion was going well, I had my headphones on listening to some awesome music...and then...it happened. I'm heading down the street, one of my blades must've got caught in the concrete (or so I like to believe) and I wiped out like a champ. It wasn't just one of your average wipeouts, I remember the top half of my body went one way, the bottom went the other. I had made this flailing (did I just invent a word?) motion with my arms, my walkman went sailing off me and hit the street, the battery compartment broke open...duracells were everywhere. After 10 or 15 (minutes) I was able to somehow make all of my body parts work as one to get myself up off the ground. Then I saw this dude who was standing on his lawn raking leaves, he just had this blank look on his face. Then I did the "look behind", ever do this? When you trip or fall, you look behind you and pretend like you must've tripped on something? Well it was more like a half look behind cause I don't think my hip had moved back in to place yet to allow me to turn all the way around. Anyway, I got home, took off my rollerblades and decided to end the relationship. I let both of them down easy, I used the "it's not you, it's me" routine.

Ok, gotta "run"...

Have a great day!

Mike Mason

Hola! Well it's Wednesday evening & I'm sittin' in the studio...here till midnight. I'm currently drinking a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, it's great. I really need to go to the grocery store though, haven't been there in a while. I enjoy shopping & all, just haven't found the time for a field trip. I have this friend named Ryan, he's 25 & lives by himself. The kid never goes to the grocery store but told me one time that him & his buddy bought some ground beef & some other various items & cooked it all up in a crock pot. Apparently they had a bunch of this "mystery meat dish" leftover in the crock (is that an acceptable abbreviation for crock pot?). Want to know how they prepared the leftovers? Cool, cause I'm going to tell you...i'm also going to use all caps. THEY LEFT THE CROCK POT ON THE COUNTER AND FEASTED ON THEIR MEAT CONCOCTION THE ENTIRE WEEK UNTIL IT WAS GONE. I had this stupefied look on my face when he told that. Here were a few of my follow up questions:

A) Huh?
B) You did what?
C) Are you an idiot???
D) You didn't put the meat in a container & keep it in the fridge?
E) Huh?

So these two clowns probably kept two spoons in this crock pot all week & would dip in to it when they got hungry. What the hell kind of non-sense is that? It was at that point that I had stopped referring to him as Ryan and started calling him "Johnny Salmonella".

Is it wrong to be hungry after telling that story? Cause I am.

Ok later...

Mike Mason

Hola, Happy Tuesday! It's like 412 degrees outside, I'm not diggin' that so much. So I'm staying inside, in the process of getting some new car insurance. For the life of me I can't figure out why these quotes I'm getting back are so high. What gives? I have really good driving skills. I always check my mirrors, I wear my seat belt and I can parallel park like nobodys business. When I first got my license, the 'rents would let me take the car to work every now & then. I remember one time I took the car over to Mickey D's (my former employer) when I was 16 cause I had a crush on this girl named Nicole that I worked with. So I drove me & my buddy over there & we went thru the drive thru because she was working "window #2". So we pull up in my Mom's Caddy & I remember crankin' up the cd player, I think I was listenin' to 3rd Bass, "Pop Goes The Weasel" (I was going thru a rap phase). All was going well, we chatted...we laughed...and then it all came crashing down. See, when I pulled up to window #2 I had the wheels of the car facing to the left, unfortunately for me you had to exit to the right. Well I thought I was all pimp with my music blaring with one hand on the wheel & I gunned it, only to find that I never moved the wheel straight & I hit one of those concrete poles you see in drive thru's (most of them are yellow, some are red). The look on Nicole's face was priceless, she had been kinda leanin' out the window chattin' w/me, the next thing I saw were those little drive thru windows close & she was gone. Anyway, I dented the drivers side door so bad the window would only go half way up, not to mention the nice yellow pinstripe I added. Plus the outside mirror was bent forward so far that I could see my friend sitting in the passenger seat. I drove home, parked it in the street away from the house hoping that no one would notice. I decided to confess & told my Dad that a truck backed in to me in the parking lot (ok so I stretched the truth a tad). He bought it! The jig was finally up when he took the car in to the shop & his guy asked, "What did your Son say happened to the car?". Apparently the guy at the shop didn't buy it & I got grounded like a champ.

Ok, peace out dawgs...

Mike Mason

Happy Monday! Hope you had a good weekend. I was a total bum yesterday, found it extremely hard to get off my couch. A few of us from the station went out to Mickey Finn's on Saturday & it turned in to a late night. I don't know what it is but I can't really sleep in at all these days...what's up with that? Maybe I should take some Tylenol PM, ever had it? I took it once a couple years back & I'm scared to take it again because I ended up sleeping for like 3 weeks. I woke up looking like Steven Seagal in 'Hard to Kill' when he woke up from his 7 year coma. Then it got me wondering if maybe I did sleep for a long period of time because when I woke up, it was like Spandex was suddenly cool to wear again (was it ever though?). Seriously, I'm seeing it everywhere I go & it's really bothersome. Why do people feel the need to go out in public wearing this material? I almost drove my car off the road the other day cause I saw some dude decked out in Spandex & junk was just poppin' out everywhere. My eyes started burning & I'm pretty sure I blacked out for about 6 seconds. I guess there are just certain things that need to be left to the imagination.

Ok, I'm outta here...talk to you at 3pm (filling in for the Big Show).

Mike Mason

Yo yo ma. How are ya? Due to peer pressure from JC & Rebecca I'm back to blogging everyday. Thank you, I guess I needed that extra push. Ok, so I NEVER eat at McDonalds, but the other morning I stopped by & got one of those McGriddles, ever have one? Excellent! I try & watch what I eat these days because I used to be slightly overweight (by slightly I mean VERY). It's easy for me not to eat at McD's only because that was my 1st ever job. I was 14 yrs old & my parents were tired of me contributing nothing to society, so my Dad gave me 2 choices - Burger King or McD's. I'll be honest with ya, neither one of those two appealed to me. My Dad went & spoke to the Manager Carl & even went so far as to fill out the application for me. I get home from school & he tells me that Carl (on a first name basis w/the guy now) wants to hire me. In my 3 yr tenure with the McDonald's corporation, I lost my job a total of 4 times. The 1st time one of the Mgrs (not my Dad's best friend Carl) asked me to go sweep up the lobby. On my way out there I grabbed a large fry & sat in the one of the corner booths reading the paper. I'm about 1/2 way through a pretty sweet order of fries & all of a sudden I hear, "What the hell is this??". Firing #1. My Dad talked to Carl, I got my job back. So I'm moppin' up that area right behind the counter & I kinda used too much water (wasn't all that handy w/the mop) & the day Mgr Tom comes around the corner really fast & just wipes out, it was like something you'd see on a slip 'n slide commercial. I'm sure it didn't help that I started laughing right in front of the guy. Firing #2. Again, Dad talked to his pal Carl, got my job back. This guy came thru the drive thru & ordered a McChicken w/extra mayo. We'd use those caulking gun type things to put sauce on stuff & I was goofing around with it & drenched the guys sandwich. He gets his food, pulls away & you see him hit the brakes. He comes stormin' in, slams the bag on the counter & pulls out the McChicken. There was so much mayo on it that it had soaked thru the wrapping & was everywhere. I found that one amusing too, but the Mgr didn't. Firing #3. Don't ask me why, but Carl still had faith in good ole Mike Mason, got my job back. I used to be a big Michael Jordan/Bulls fan & the McJordan had just come out. It was basically a Quarter Pounder w/Cheese but w/BBQ sauce & bacon. To promote it they made us wear these buttons w/Jordan's picture on it. For some unknown reason, I "borrowed" a bag of those buttons & needless to say I got busted, firing #4. At this point, my Dad no longer had any pull with Carl. I think they still keep in touch though, ha!

Ok, I'm getting carpal tunnel over here...have a great day!

Mike Mason

Hola! Como esta usted, y tu? Yep, seven years of Spanish right there (yeah I know you're way impressed). So how's your Wednesday? Mine is ok so far, haven't done a whole lot. I did some shopping, went to Target. So I'm browsing in one of the aisles and I see this dude totally staring at me. He walks up to me and goes, "Hey Chris!". I was like, "Excuse me?". He repeats himself, "Hey Chris!". So I just begin to stare at him with this blank look on my face. I finally end the suspense and simply tell him, "I'm not Chris". He seems perplexed, a few seconds go by, then he says, "Are you sure?". Hmmm, well now that you mention it stranger, I'm really not sure. What do you say we head over by the patio furniture so I can sit down for a few minutes and think about it. YES I'M SURE YOU IDIOT! Then I get a call on my cell phone from some clown looking to speak to Louis Galoonga. Ok, what is happening in my world? Apparently I have a major identity crisis on my hands here. I'm like Sandra Bullock in that movie "The Net". Doesn't anyone want to talk to Mike Mason anymore? I'm a good person, I'm fun...I like to think I eat and dress well...I obey most of the traffic laws. Those are some good qualities, right?

Ok, I'm outta here. =)

MM

Hey there! Yeah, I kinda took a small vacation from the whole world of blogging. Things have been pretty hectic for me lately, with the International Tetherball tournament and all. So we were at the Lake County Fair this past Saturday. I took my daughter Krista, but before we went we had to swing by the station because she was excited to meet Rebecca...she's such a huge fan of both Joe & Rebecca. She says Tim has an attitude problem though, ha! J/K Tuuk. Anyway, she forgot to bring her autograph book. Last time I brought her to the station she got to meet Joe and had him sign her book. Then it was hilarious cause I was off doing a few things and the next thing I know she comes back with like 10 autographs in her book. Apparently she was just going up to anyone asking for their autograph...not even sure half of them worked at the station. One was from the Air Conditioner guy, he wrote "Keep it Cool". I think even a couple people from the cleaning crew signed her book. She has yet to see the website, but I know she'll be ecstatic when she sees herself in the scrapbook. Thanks to JC for mentioning her in his blog too! At the fair, Sara commented that her & I look exactly alike. We've even been asked before if we were brother & sister...we just look at each other and laugh. She's like, "Ummm, no that's my Dad". The Fair was alot of fun, it was so hot though. I don't know what it is about Fairs, but they seem to attract the mullets. I was spotting so many that I lost count. Didn't most of us have a mullet though? I first grew mine back in 1986, then retired it in 1990. However it made a brief comeback in 1991 before officially retiring later that year. I think that's when it became cool to shave the side of my head in order to resemble Vanilla Ice - oops, I mean Rob Van Winkle. You might say I was "to the extreme". =)

Well that's all for now, have a great day! Talk to you soon...

Mike Mason

Hola! It's Tuesday evening, thought I would check in real quick. I'm sitting here in the studio staring at one of our computer monitors which contains Pauly Shore Wallpaper. Hmm, I'm gonna guess JC was responsible for that one. I'd change it, but he may get upset considering the deep love & fondness he has for PS. I need to go shopping, need some new shoes. I buy my shoes at ALDO but the one in Westfield Shopping Mall (Vernon Hills) never has anything above a size 9. Which does me no good because I wear a 13. Plus there's this guy in there who cracks me up because he looks like Rick James, but I'm not sure if he's a super freak. I have to keep asking myself why I continue to go in to that one, I think because the next closest one is in Woodfield. Maybe I'll just switch to clown shoes. Although it's hard to find my size in those too, I'm a 18 wide.

Talk to you later!!! =)

Mike Mason

Hey there! Back in the studio, hangin' till midnight. Did you catch the debut of Pauly Shore's new show last night on TBS, I didn't. There was no way I was going to waste a half hour of my life on that clown. I came face to face with "The Weasel" about 5 or 6 years ago over at the Westfield Shopping Mall. He was in town doing a Comedy show (of course I use the word 'comedy' loosely) at the Vernon Hills Zanies. Me & some friends were doing lunch at the food court and I spotted PS walking with his entourage. I thought it would be cool to go up and say hey, it's not every day I see a celebrity of that caliber. I walk up to him, he looks at me, I said a few words - I think I said I was a fan (I lied) - he TOTALLY ignores me and just keeps walking like I wasn't there. I was like "Son of a B"! I was so angry, it wasn't like it was George Clooney or Al Pacino that ignored me...it was PAULY SHORE! That's worse than being blown off by Carrot Top, or Gallagher. Did the huge success of Biodome go to his head? I mean, I'm sorry the Academy overlooked your performance in Encino Man, but can't I at least get a head nod or something??? Whatever, I'm over it (apparently I'm not, ha!). Time for some caffeine...

xoxo,
Mike Mason

Yo-Yo-Ma.
To follow up on my earlier thoughts about cereal...I heard there are talks about a possible TNT Original movie to be made about the life of Cap'n Crunch, starring Wilfred Brimley. Some cameos will include Dennis Franz as the "Cookie Crisp" keystone cop and Brad Garrett as "Frankenberry".

I'll keep you posted. =)

MM

Good morning! Thought I'd check in with you real quick. It's been a pretty good morning so far, except I didn't have time to make my elaborate breakfast (1 egg, 1 cup egg beaters, hash browns, 2 pieces of toast). Not many people are a fan of the egg beaters, but they're fat free, so it works for me. Anyway, ended up just pouring myself a bowl of cereal. Currently I have Froot Loops and Trix in stock, so I went with the Froot Loops. I used to be a big fan of Captain (oops, Cap'n) Crunch. Question for you, what exactly is this guy a Captain of? I think I need to know more about his credentials before I can refer to him as "Captain". We need to go back to when he was first starting off his Naval career, when he was just Private First Class Crunch. On occasion I also enjoyed Fruity Pebbles, but those Fred & Barney commercials got old. Ok, how stupid was Fred not to pick up on the fact that it was Barney trying to steal his cereal? Barney almost pulled this off what, two or three times a week? He'd get all upset, "Barney, my pebbles!". Get a clue Fred, Barney's only disguise is an oversize fake handlebar mustache! Barney worked for a living, at the quarry. I'm sure he was making pretty good money, I remember seeing a top of the line Elephant shower in their backyard. Buy your own box dude! The lesson to be learned here, if you're looking to rip off your best friends box of cereal, make sure your disguise includes something besides a lame-o handlebar mustache.

Ok, I need to dig in the cereal box for my prize now...

Mike Mason